Thoughts of a mother....

I wrote this on April 17, 2007. It is something that I thought of as I was dealing with Ashtyn growing up and losing her teeth. I could write more, but just read and you'll see what I mean.

As I sit here, at my desk, eating left-over birthday cake (that we all know I DON"T NEED), I'm forced to look over the past year. My Lily, my baby, has hit the first of many milestones that we will celebrate with a number. She is one. First, I have to thank God for every day that I have had with her since I first found out that I was pregnant, even telling Rick that we were going to be parents again was funny. I just have a nack for breaking news! From there it was to be expected, kind of. I got big, really big, then, I just got bigger, unusually so. (trust me, the pics are hilarious) And numerous trips to the hospital in false labor then to deliver my child with my own hands, breathtaking, amazing. A big girl at 8lbs. 10oz, she took my heart and never looked back. My flower, now one and talking, learning to walk. Figuring out simple problems, to watch the gears turn in her mind is nothing short of amazing. So many firsts run together in a blur, before you know it, they are independant and wanting to do things on their own, they don't need you. And as sad as it is, it makes me happy, she's learing, strong, brave. Trying things that at one point were mommy's job, now I can do it, I'm the big girl. Ashtyn has shown me how to live through this change, or maybe just that I can live through it. It's still difficult to watch her do things, knowing that just a short time ago it was, "Mommy, can you button my shirt please!". Now it's "ok, mom, I got it, can we go?" thoes extra minutes that you have while buttoning this, or making sure that this is tied, it's really precious "us" time, and can be easily overlooked. I know that my senseless ramblings are just that, ramblings. But perhaps I will someday be able to tell my children to hold onto the little moments with their young. Yet before that, I remind myself to hold them. For when kindergarten starts, it's a whole new world of space and independance, and I will have to prepare myself for that!

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