Tis the season

So, just the other day I was feeling a bit worse for wear and decided that a trip to my salon for a trim would be perfect. Clean up the look just before the holiday celebrations begin. That said, I was waiting for my turn when who should appear, but the Jolly Old Elf himself, Santa Claus. Here he comes, rosy cheeks and all, sauntering into the mall salon. After a brief whisper to one of the stylist pros on duty, he leaves then quickly returns with a framed photo (I'm guessing it was for a point of reference). As the small blond leads him back to his seat, Lily is in shock. Awe, really standing perfectly still, jaw to her collar bone. Closely monitoring his every step, Lil then reaches her hand out, blindly for my knee, steadily tapping it, trying to show me what she sees without taking her eyes off even for a second. It was adorable. Turns out Santa just needed a couple curls for photo time (I'm sure the trip in was a bit windy that day, what with no roof on the sleigh). Some curling of the beard and hair (he told the stylist that it took him 9 years to achieve his look) and he was off. Quite the spectacle, even passers by were using their cell phone cameras to capture this moment through the glass walls of the salon. I never would have thought it, but I quickly pulled mine out and (with permission) snapped away. I love cell phone cameras, I have caught many moments that would have otherwise been lost. This in mind, Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

So, here come the holidays....I just had to tell you how it is around my house....

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I stopped to take a picture...

I couldn't resist. After dropping Maddie and Bree off at school this morning, I was greeted by the most unusual sign that I have personally experienced. Now, mind you...this is in an area where dogs and cats FREQUENTLY go missing so, a scrawled message and phone number posted is not out of the norm. I also want to stress that I applaud the level of compassion it takes to temporarily house such a creature with the hopes of finding it's owners....but it was just too funny at 8:30 this morning...before my coffee.....

I try to be a good friend...

I don't know what I've done in life to find myself down this road. I have done my best at making choices in friends and associates. Kept my distance when I felt out of place. I have even forgiven the mistakes of those whom hurt me the worst, even when I knew I shouldn't.

I find now, that I am learning what a true friend is. And that I don't have many. I try my hardest to be supportive, honest and a shoulder. I am in no way perfect, but I try...and once again it has gotten me hurt. Only this time, 20 years hangs in the balance. Some things are minor and petty~ I'll be the first to admit, to some, this is simply that. But when you have been there for EVERYTHING, forgiven EVERYTHING, NEVER ONCE be hateful or hurtful to someone...then just be replaced. Pushed aside...it's devastating. I had someone ask me a very honorable question on Friday...I said yes. I was honored...then today with no warning...thrown under the bus like an old gum wrapper.

At what point do we cut our losses and say goodbye? I don't know, I can't answer that, as you can see, I'm not good at doing that. I continue to stick around only to be abused again, and again. I told my husband tonight, "Sometimes it would be easier if I didn't love so much, if I didn't need my friends...but I do." I hate hurting like this. I haven't cried like this in a long time, and it sucks.

I guess 20 years of dedication means nothing anymore....

Not sure what this is all about.....

As of Tuesday, I am now 28. Yes, I am a woman and I just told my age. I do not believe that we should be ashamed of our age, or our wrinkles (don't have any yet but I'm sure they are right around the corner), or our grey hair (don't have that either). So many people are afraid to look "old". Personally I believe that having a bit of "age" to your appearance makes one look wise, experienced and appreciative. In our society, we are so wrapped up in eye cream, hair dye, nips, tucks and what ever else will erase our experience in the world. Why not embrace it and be proud that you have survived this long in reality!

So, here I sit at one o'clock in the morning. I have spent the last 4 hours or so cleaning. Cleaning out my desk from beneath the pile of TREES that had grown on top. I kid you not, there was a good 14 inches of paper stacked from one end to the other...then the overflow was on top of the filing cabinet. I guess it would have been too easy to actually file it IN the massive cabinet! Anyways~ not only did I need to get the area cleaned, for my own sanity, but I'm starting a bit of a new job. EBAY. Yes, the wonderful Ebay...selling the crap that I don't want, or bought on clearence, to people who desperately need it! Isn't the internet Wonderful!? I have started small, 3 auctions. I am learning as I go and trying to start slowly as to not get overwhelmed. But I am having fun with it just the same. Thanks to Jules, who is showing me the ropes! We are hell-bent on becoming professional "Scooner-to-EBAY" millionaires. Ok, maybe not millionaires, but paying a couple small bills every month around the house would be wonderful. And all in the comfort of my own home. I've already had people as me to sell their stuff for a cut of the profit! This could get exciting pretty quick. Let's pray it takes.

(Not that you really needed or cared to know any of this but it's all I've got right now and I am overdue to post....)

She's a little me....

Goodness, Ashtyn is so funny. She's so goofy. She's so....ME! I see a lot of myself in the things that she does. I can understand her thought patterns behind her actions, because at one time, they were mine. And sometimes she does things just to make you smile or laugh. That was me....so for her to give me the gift of a smile today, here's what she did while waiting for the bus.....

I don't quite know how my parents didn't just die laughing on a daily basis. Her main goal in life is a lot like mine at that age. If someone isn't happy, do your best to help them get happy. Even if it's only for a moment, a smile is all they need. It's nice to know that she is so caring, and I know she is, because she is a little me.

And I lost it.....

Here's a shock for you. Two blog posts, back to back....well, I promised I'd post with regards to Ashtyn's first day. It's great. I was miserable. I took her to a breakfast of sorts at the school for the new class of kids coming in and to say our final goodbyes. This is to cut down on the parental stragglers in the classroom I'm sure!She was a bit nervous that she couldn't remember her teachers name, and that she wouldn't make any friends but I assured her that she would learn names and friends all in good time. Sooner than she thought! The principal said her welcomes and hellos then told all of the students to line up with their teachers. One last hug and kiss (she was holding on as tight as I was!) and she was off. She couldn't find the line but once mom fixed that problem, she was good to go. I lost it. My little girl is growing up and I can't begin to fathom her daily trials without me. All I can do now is my best to teach her well at home and pick up any pieces along the way...Man, Kindgergarten is tough!

Guilty as Charged....

Ok, so I am guilty. I have been told by MANY people that I am letting my blog fall by the way-side. I am not posting enough. I KNOW I KNOW, I'M BAD! Perhaps I can start fresh today, and try to post once a week, at least. I have lots to post about but no time. So, I make time! hmmmm, since last post a lot has happened. I spent the weekend in TN with two friends. It was wonderful! Ari was a wonderful hostess and Jules was just a peach. (Although she spent far too much time with her new fiance')

Time passed quickly on the porch with cold drinks and chatting it up about nothing and everything all at the same time. We solved the problems of the world and enjoyed doing so with a giggle! Minutes turned to hours and night into day seemlessly~making it harder to leave on Sunday. Monday proved to be a joke, trying to fall back into a routine and catch up on house work. YEA~Right....that evening we did get to meet Ashtyn's teacher and see her classroom.

I'm still dealing with it all just fine. I'm sure it won't really hit me until tomorrow when I walk out of the building and leave her behind. Just thinking about it now is gettting me a bit, I must confess. As for Lily~ yesterday I was changing some laundry over and things got quiet upstairs. Ashtyn and I were talking when we realized that Lily had been too quiet for too long! Racing up the stairs we find Lil with my lipstick. And to my shock...applied very well for a 2year old. Goodness they grow up fast!

I guess I should sign off here....I know tomorrow will bring a whole new batch of emotions that I should post....if I have the time.

Just thinking...

I guess you could say that I am in one of "those" moods. One where you aren't happy or sad, just coming to a bunch of realizations that we have a hard time holding onto. My children are growing. More and more each day, they get smarter, funnier and continue to develop personalities. Just the other day, Ashtyn decided to play "Super Hero ~ UNDERWEAR GIRL"...yes, she was wearing it on her head.


And Lily, she decided that the best microphone for karaoke was the dogs tail. Hysterical!

So much has happened lately that I have really started to look closely and analyze my life. My relationship with my children and husband. I am so lucky. No, not lucky, BLESSED. Rick has been so good to me over the years. Yes, everyone has rough times but it was always getting better. He's kept his promises to me and we are doing well. My children, they are happy healthy kids. (Now, I am kindly leaving out the attitude of the 13 year old ....or the tantrums of the two year old...) But they are good kids. Trent has started mowing the lawn now and he's really proud of that. I'm blessed that all of my children love me the way that they do. I have the ability to stay at home and raise my children myself. It's truly amazing. I pray that our relationships only grow stronger. I know that we live in a tough time, our economy is crap, violence is as high as ever and drug use is everywhere. Yet, perhaps with the right love and guidance, we can teach our children where to find the narrow path to success and happiness...that, is MY goal in life. To help them pursue theirs.

SO EXCITED! I know, it's silly.

Ok, so I am SO excited about this one. I have joined a Message Board on the Cricut website. In doing this I have found a group of people who love scrapbooking as much as I do. Some of them even more-so! While clicking around I found that they also get together and form Secret Sister groups. Sending one gift package per month to their "sister" of scrappin' goodies. I'm so excited. I joined, it didn't take much thought. And hopefully tonight I will know who my "sister" is. It's only 5 months long (Now until December) and I think it's going to be good fun! If only the world were like this...just random gifts for people. I think it would be a better place!

Thoughts of a mother....

I wrote this on April 17, 2007. It is something that I thought of as I was dealing with Ashtyn growing up and losing her teeth. I could write more, but just read and you'll see what I mean.

As I sit here, at my desk, eating left-over birthday cake (that we all know I DON"T NEED), I'm forced to look over the past year. My Lily, my baby, has hit the first of many milestones that we will celebrate with a number. She is one. First, I have to thank God for every day that I have had with her since I first found out that I was pregnant, even telling Rick that we were going to be parents again was funny. I just have a nack for breaking news! From there it was to be expected, kind of. I got big, really big, then, I just got bigger, unusually so. (trust me, the pics are hilarious) And numerous trips to the hospital in false labor then to deliver my child with my own hands, breathtaking, amazing. A big girl at 8lbs. 10oz, she took my heart and never looked back. My flower, now one and talking, learning to walk. Figuring out simple problems, to watch the gears turn in her mind is nothing short of amazing. So many firsts run together in a blur, before you know it, they are independant and wanting to do things on their own, they don't need you. And as sad as it is, it makes me happy, she's learing, strong, brave. Trying things that at one point were mommy's job, now I can do it, I'm the big girl. Ashtyn has shown me how to live through this change, or maybe just that I can live through it. It's still difficult to watch her do things, knowing that just a short time ago it was, "Mommy, can you button my shirt please!". Now it's "ok, mom, I got it, can we go?" thoes extra minutes that you have while buttoning this, or making sure that this is tied, it's really precious "us" time, and can be easily overlooked. I know that my senseless ramblings are just that, ramblings. But perhaps I will someday be able to tell my children to hold onto the little moments with their young. Yet before that, I remind myself to hold them. For when kindergarten starts, it's a whole new world of space and independance, and I will have to prepare myself for that!

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Just a quick update...

Ashtyn informed me (at 10:00 last night) that she has yet ANOTHER loose tooth....the last one she lost was her bottom left center...this tooth, top right...Lord help me!

It's a bit overwhelming....

Wow, this past week has been just nuts. Sunday the 21st, Ashtyn lost her first tooth. It had become more and more loose the days leading up to the big event from her constantly fidgeting with it. Around noon, while riding her bike Ashtyn bit down hard while bracing for a fall (she has already mastered no training wheels), and caused the wiggly member to bleed and become far more unstable. After clearing tears and rinsing with cold water, she was warned that it may come out the next day and to just leave it be for awhile. Roughly two hours later, she comes to me and says (mouth full of blood) "Mom, it came out!" Thrust her hand up to me and there it was, proof that my baby was growing up. We cleaned her up and sent her to play and show off her new milestone ~ while I cried. That night, the tooth fairy left her $5 for the first tooth... and the tooth fairy cried. Monday night....Lily made the transition to "big girl bed" the toddler bed that looks like a VW Bug. She made the change so easily that now I don't even have to fight her to take a nap, she just loves it. We made it through the week with little change to life. Friday Lily had her first movie theater date. Jackie and I took Lily and Graham (2 weeks age difference) to see WALL*E. Cute movie! Today, Saturday has also hit me rough. Today is my brother, Scotty's birthday. He's 17. This man is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the blessing to know. And what makes me far more lucky is that he's my brother. There is a bond that will never be broken. I'm so blessed. He is just a great person, adorable, smart, funny, talented. Well rounded 'All American' boy. I'm so proud of him. And I miss him to pieces! And to top off my week, I got a new Cricut Cartridge, Stretch Your Imagination. It's WAY adorable! I hope this post wasn't too boring, perhaps I will be able to spice it up a bit more next time.

I guess I'm blog-a-riffic?

Well, here I am. Finally moving onto the more "mature" version of internet posting. I once vowed never to become a "blogger", but thanks to Ari...here I am. Let me start by saying that my posts will never be as glorious as hers. She uses fancy words like "ramekin of dip" I will tell you now, my word would be "tub". But if you can handle the ramblings of a mother....mother of 5 to be exact...Stop by any time and see what's new.